How nuts is this?

Hello invisible readers! Did you miss me? I'm back from my vacation. I had a great time. It was wonderful to get away from Florida for a while. What a difference it made in my world and in my mood. Alas, it's back to reality. We arrived home a few hours ago. There's no point in going to sleep. I have to leave the house in about two and one-half hours to head to my least favorite place. It's back to the VA Hospital for another doctor appointment. I have four of them this week. As I said, vacation is over and it's back to reality.

Two things happened while I was away. Just before I left for California I received "unofficial notification" from the DAV that my VA Claim had been decided. The VA turned down my request for 100% based on individual unemployment. When I home arrived tonight, the official notice was waiting for me from the VA. Reading through it, there was no mention of the evidence I sent in from the VA's own Vocational Rehab Program. There was no mention of the "letter of feasibility" I sent in as evidence which clearly stated I am not "retrainable" and I am "not a candidate for gainful employment" as determined by the VA's own Vocational Rehab. There was no mention of the letter my doctor filled out stating I cannot work. What happened to that evidence? They did award me 30% for major depression and another 10% for "right knee strain". They raised my overall rating from 70% to 80%.

The second thing that happened is that I was approved for social security disability with an effective date of June 2008. The social security administration based their decision on evidence they received from the Department of Veterans Affairs.

How is it that one government agency says that I cannot work and the other says I can work? How is it they both evaluated the very same medical evidence? In reality, I have three different government agents saying I cannot work. They all based their decisions on the same medical evidence.

Not to worry though. At least ... I'm not worried. I have some things to take care of over the next few days and then I will be filing an appeal with the VA. I will win my case for 100% with the VA. And when I win it, they will owe me a shitload of money. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of that payday. You can bet I'm going to laugh all the way to the bank.

Until the next time ....

I'm on vacation

Hello Invisible Reader,

Just a quick note to tell you all that as of this morning I am on vacation. I will be
boarding a flight in 8:45 a.m. to California. I haven't been out there since November 2000. That was the year my father moved out there to live with my stepmom, Bonnie. I think I'm overdue for a visit, don't you?

I'm sure I'll have a lot to tell you when I get back. Don't miss me too much.

Until the next time ...

Two Small Victories

I was sitting at the computer today ... where else would I be? when my partners daughter handed me today's mail. The first thing to catch my eye was a thicker than normal envelope from the Disabled American Veterans (DAV) National Service Office in St Pete. I'm thinking to myself, "It's got to be another solicitation for donations." They waste more money sending out crap asking for money. I've already decided they aren't getting any money from me. If you've read my previous blogs you know that I think the St Pete DAV office is a waste of good space and my National Service Officer, Karen Miller, has no business even being paid for what she does ... or doesn't do.

This wasn't any ordinary envelope. This was addressed to me personally. My hands started shaking. I slowly tore open the envelope and pulled out the two page letter inside.

In a nutshell, here is the what the letter said:

"The Disabled American Veterans (DAV) has reviewed the most recent VA Decision concerning your claim for benefits. A combined evaluation of 80 percent has been assigned as a result of the following action(s):

Entitlement to service connection for depression and right knee disability has been granted.

If satisfied with this decision, no further action is necessary. If you disagree with any part of this decision, you may file what is called a Notice of Disagreement (NOD) to initiate an appeal. Once you receive the official VA notification letter, you have one year from its date to file a NOD. The DAV may provide representation throughout this process. Prior to filing a NOD, we request that you contact your local DAV National Service Office."

It isn't the decision I was hoping for. I called the DAV Office because there was no mention of my request for 100% disability based on Individual Unemployability with Aid & Attendance. I talked to one of the service officers and he told me it had been disapproved. He did tell me that they gave me 30% service connection for depression and 10% service connection for my right knee.

I am surprisingly calm. Like I said, it wasn't the decision I was hoping for. However, I did win two small victories. I knew this was going to be a long battle. For now, I'm going to put this aside. I am leaving for California on Saturday. Terri & I are going on a long overdue vacation and we're going to have a damn good time visiting with family and friends.

When I return, then I'll deal with the rest of this VA claim. I have already contacted my pal Jim Strickland. He told me to forget about my claim for the time being. He told me to go to California and have a great time. When I get back, he'll tell me the next step. He'll help me prepare my appeal. He warned me this would happen, so it's not like I wasn't expecting this.

On Tuesday, September 15th, Terri and I are attending a taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show. If you are my Facebook friend, we'll be posting the air date there. On Thursday, September 17th, we're attending a taping of the Bonnie Hunt Show. We'll also post the air date for that on Facebook.

Speaking of Ellen ... did you hear the big announcement? Ellen DeGeneres is going to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol! I love Ellen DeGeneres. I love American Idol. I think it's a perfect fit. So long, Paula.

I still have a lot to do today to get ready for my trip. I'll catch you all when I return. Thanks to all of you, Invisible Readers, for your support as I go through this battle against the VA. It means more to me than you will ever know.

Until the next time ....

OPRAH INVESTIGATING PTSD, SUICIDE, HOMICIDE -- Have you personally experienced a suicide, homicide or physical abuse caused by combat-related PTSD? Are you fearful your loved one may have PTSD? - VA Watchdog dot Org - 09-09-2009

OPRAH INVESTIGATING PTSD, SUICIDE, HOMICIDE -- Have you personally experienced a suicide, homicide or physical abuse caused by combat-related PTSD? Are you fearful your loved one may have PTSD? - VA Watchdog dot Org - 09-09-2009

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Total craziness. So what else is new?

Yesterday I had an appointment at the "Falls Clinic." I wasn't sure what to expect. I was in a bad mood to begin with. I haven't been sleeping well. My partner and caregiver has been really sick. I feel totally helpless because I don't know what to do to help her. She is back at work but she still looks and sounds like shit.

We got to the clinic early. My friend and sometimes driver, Jojo, picked me up early for yesterdays appointment. The Falls Clinic isn't at the main VA campus so we wanted to give ourselves some extra time to find the clinic. GPS is a wonderful thing but when the sky is full of storm clouds you don't always pick up a satellite signal. So much for modern technology. We had to resort to old fashioned printed directions. We did find a quicker way to the VA Hospital so that was a plus.

We arrived about half an hour early. The staff noticed us out in the parking lot and they were trying to rush us in. I wanted to smoke a cigarette. I was annoyed as hell that they were trying to rush me in. Remember, I was not in a good mood.

I saw three different people at the Falls Clinic. First I saw a ... Well, I'm not sure what she was. She checked my eyes. She put me through all these weird little tests. I had to put on 3D glasses for one of the tests. Then I had to do a mental health exam. I'm getting tired of that exam. Spell WORLD backwards. I'm going to tell you three words. Then we will talk about something else. Later I will ask you what those three words were. What the hell! I'm not crazy. My knee gives out and I fall. Don't you people understand that?

Then I spoke with a physical therapist. She asked me what assistive devices I have in my house. I have a shower chair, a potty chair that sits over our commode that has grab bars so that I can get off it. And I have grab bars that some VA contractor installed outside of my shower. Why he put them there is beyond me. They don't do me any good once I'm in the shower. I have this cool thing that I can grab stuff with. It's really come in handy. Oh yeah, and I have the spiffy new walker that I've decided I hate now that I've used it for a few days.

After I saw the PT, the doctor came in the room. This is the part where the details get a bit fuzzy. I can tell you that I was very upset and very angry. The doctor thought I was being combative. I explained to her that I was not angry with her. I was angry at the system. What set me off was the medical note from Dr. Miller, the ortho asshole that I had seen last week. The doctor I saw yesterday said that Dr Miller recommended "revision surgery" to correct the problem with my knee. Dr. Miller went on to say that I refused surgery. What Dr. Miller didn't put in my record was the fact that he told me that there was nothing wrong with my knee. Why the hell would he recommend surgery when he believes there is nothing wrong with my knee? What the fuck??

Let's talk about the spiffy new walker for a minute. I told this to the doctor, the physical therapist and the other technician who, I guess, was trying to determine if I was completely out of my mind. I don't fall because I get dizzy. I don't fall because I am mentally impaired. I fall because my knee buckles. Plain and simple. I don't give a shit what the xrays show. I feel like I have a knife in my knee. It catches and it pops. I feel like it's got gravel in it. The spiffy new walker is on four wheels. If my knee buckles, the spiffy new walker isn't going to help me anyway. The spiffy new walker hurts my shoulders. I have to put more weight on my left knee when I use the spiffy new walker. As a result of that, I'm in more pain now than I was before I started using it.

The doctor agreed with me about the spiffy new walker. She told me to stop using it. She told me to go back to my cane and to wear the brace that Dr Miller the ortho asshole issued to me. At least we agree on one thing.

So now I'm contemplating my next move. I don't want another surgery. But why would Dr. Miller recommend surgery after telling me there is nothing wrong with my knee? It doesn't make sense. What the hell is wrong with these people? Are they intentionally trying to mess with us? Why do they want to screw with the Veterans? Do they enjoy it? Why would Dr. Miller tell me there is nothing wrong with my knee, then recommend surgery. When I questioned him about it, he put in my record that I refused surgery. That's just wrong. Shit like that hurts Veterans in the long run when we put in a claim for disability benefits. They review our records and they see all that. They never hear our side of the story. They don't know about the pain that we suffer from day to day because the VA doctors write down what makes them look good. They don't give two shits about the Veterans they are supposed to be taking care of.

The Falls Clinic can't do too much for me. They are sending someone else out to look at the installation job of the grab bars. They ordered two new bars to be installed inside my shower stall. The doctor wants me to go back to using a cane.

I've got a brand new spiffy walker on wheels. Hardly used. Can anyone use it? Come and get it. I'll give it to you.

Until the next time ...

Do you see these 42 Double D's? Do I look like a man to you?

Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my retirement from the Army. I wrote this really great blog about how much my life has changed in the last 15 years. I haven't slept much in the past couple days. My partner/caregiver has a nasty sinus infection. She's been sick for three days now. I feel helpless as I watch her suffering in bed. This woman who is so strong and provides me with such awesome care and unconditional love is down for the count and I can't do a thing to help her. I bought her four boxes of tissues. Two with lotion and two with "Vicks" built into them. I made her a pot of homemade chicken soup, but she only ate a couple of bites before she went back to sleep last night. I bought her a gallon of orange juice. I couldn't go to the doctor with her on Saturday because I'm too scared of getting sick. At least we know she doesn't have swine flu. That's a plus.

Back to my original point ... I was so exhausted when I wrote that blog from not sleeping that when I was editing it I accidentally deleted it. I was going to try to recreate it, but those thoughts and ideas are long gone. They were put to paper (computer?) at 3:00 a.m. I'm lucky I can remember 10 minutes ago unless I take notes.

On the other hand, something happened to me when I was at the VA Hospital last Friday, August 28th, that really made an impression on me. Doesn't it always, Invisible Reader? I was issued a spiffy new walker. It's not the kind that you have to lift up and move with you. I have one of those already. My shoulders are so messed up I can't use that one anymore. The one they gave me is a brand new, shiny, royal blue. It's on four wheels and has locking brakes. It has a seat that I can flip down and sit on if I get tired. It has a basket that I can put my stuff into. I like the basket. That means I no longer have to carry a backpack. Yep, you read that right. In spite of the fact that my shoulders kill me, I carry a backpack every time I go to the VA Hospital. It's the only way that I can take my planner with me. The weight of the planner is too heavy for me to carry in my left hand. It hurts my shoulder. See the catch 22 here? I also need to carry bottles of water with me. The medications I take cause me to drink massive amounts of water day and night.

As always, I had multiple appointments that day. (And now I refer back to my planner because this is where my memory fails me.) My first appointment was with Rehab medicine. My primary care physician is trying her best to get me a mobility scooter so that I can get out of the house on my own. Rehab medicine is one of the clinics that will make that determination. That was a bust. Even though my partner/caretaker works from 1:30 to 10:00 p.m. Monday through Friday, I'm too drugged up to drive and I'm scared to death of walking on my own because I'm afraid of falling and hurting myself, the Rehab medicine doctor recommended against approving me for a mobility scooter. He wrote me a script for the spiffy new scooter. I told him that I will give it a shot, but I don't know that my shoulders will be able to handle it since they are both frozen. I will play the game though. I will give it a try. I hope that one of these days that doctor will be in my position. Completely dependent on others for his care and mobility. Karma is a bitch, Baby.

I had to do fasting labs that day so my next stop was the lab. After giving away what seemed like gallons of blood and doing my monthly urine drug screen, my friend, (and driver for the day) and I went up to the cafeteria to get some lunch. The food in the hospital cafeteria isn't great, but we got a lot of food for $12 bucks. You can't beat the price. I picked at my food but I did manage to get something down.

My primary care appointment was at 2:00 so I had my screening with the nurse at 1:30. For a change, they were running on time and I got right in to see both the nurse and my doctor without having to wait. My primary care doctor was the one who told me rehab medicine disapproved me for the mobility scooter. I still have two more shots at a mobility scooter. I have an appointment tomorrow at the "Falls Clinic." With luck, I can get them to listen to me and convince them I'm scared of falling so they will give me a positive recommendation. The other option is Voc Rehab. My Voc Rehab counselor is still working with my primary care physician to get me a mobility scooter.

First things first. Remember the diluted urine issue? I don't have to worry about going back to pain management for diluted urine anymore. The pain management doctor put a note in to my primary care physician and told her that based upon the large amount of fluids I consume and since all other values are normal, it's okay for me to have diluted urine. One issue resolved.

However, I still want to know why my urine is diluted. I want to know why my legs are swelling. My doctor took my concerns seriously and wrote up a slew of consults. Those should be coming up shortly. I had a good appointment with my primary care physician ... even if she did make me go back to the lab to give another urine specimen for additional testing.

I finished up with my primary care physician and began the process of running the rest of my errands at the hospital. I stopped by prosthetics and was issued a nifty new brace to wear on my knee. Hopefully it will help with the instability and it'll keep me from falling so much. I can dream, can't I?

After prosthetics, it was on to the physical therapy clinic ... and that's where the title for today's blog comes from. It was 3:15 on Friday afternoon. After my knee replacement in 2007, I spent three days a week in that clinic. I know from personal experience that they don't book patients that late in the day on Friday afternoon. They use that time as administrative time. We arrived and the clinic was quiet. There was one person ahead of us and the clinic was dead quiet. There were two PT's and a clerk working behind the desk. One of the PT's came out and picked up the two consults sitting on the desk. I heard her say to the other tech in the back, "I'll take one and you can take the other." With that, she took in the guy who came in after I did.

Okay ... I sat there and did my best not to get pissed off that he was called back first even though I arrived before he did. I was tired and crabby. It was a full ten minutes before the other tech came out from the back and called for "Mr. Goodman." My friend and I looked at each other. There were no men in the waiting area. Obviously she was looking for me since Goodman is my last name. I finally stood up and said to her, "Do you see these 42 double d's? Do I look like a mister to you?" At first, she was stunned. She didn't know what to say. I hit back with, "You do realize there are women Veterans, don't you?" Again, she fumbled for a response. She told me that most of her patients are men. I told her that was no excuse and perhaps in the future she should look at her consults more closely instead of assuming that every Veteran is a man. Did I mention that I was tired and crabby?

It doesn't matter what my mood was like that day. I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me at the VA Hospital. Ignorant staff who don't pay attention to the medical records they are pulling up on the screen. They look only at the last name and assume all Veterans are male. Excuse me ... there are women Veterans and you need to start paying attention to us.

The following showed up in my mailbox this morning. I'd never seen or heard of it before. There is a website to go along with it, too. I never knew that women Veterans who have lost any part of their breast(s) from a lumpectomy all the way up to a double mastectomy or who have received breast radiation are entitled to special monthly compensation from the VA. I sent out a link to the groups I belong to. I'll give it to you here but my friends are telling me they are having a hard time getting to it. http://www1.va.gov/womenvet. If that doesn't work, there is a link to it on my Newsvine page. http://www.onewearysoldier.newsvine.com. If that doesn't work for you, email me directly and I will send you a copy of the fact sheet. I saved it to my computer in case it disappears. Again.

I urge all women Veterans who have lost any or all of your breasts to cancer to print this fact sheet, get copies of your medical, surgical and radiation reports and beat feet to your Veterans Service Officer as quickly as you can. According to this letter, you are entitled to Special Monthly Compensation. That's above and beyond what you already draw for VA Disability. They cannot deny you.

Until the next time ...

DEPARTMENT OF VETERANS AFFAIRS
CENTER FOR WOMEN VETERANS
THE CENTER FOR WOMEN VETERANS was established by Congress in November 1994 by
P. L. 103-446 to oversee Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) programs for women veterans.
OUR MISSION
The mission of the Center for Women Veterans is to ensure that:
♦ Women veterans receive benefits and services on par with male veterans.
♦ VA programs are responsive to gender-specific needs of women veterans.
♦ Outreach is performed to improve women veterans’ awareness of services, benefits, and eligibility criteria.
♦ Women veterans are treated with dignity and respect.
The Director, Center for Women Veterans, acts as the primary advisor to the Secretary of Veterans Affairs on all matters related to policies, legislation, programs, issues, and initiatives affecting women veterans.
OUR GOALS
♦ Identify policies, practices, programs, and related activities that are unresponsive or insensitive to the needs of women veterans and recommending changes, revisions or new initiatives to address these deficiencies.
♦ Foster communication among all elements of VA on these findings and ensuring the women veterans’ community that women veterans’ issues are incorporated into VA’s strategic plan.
♦ Promote and provide educational activities on women veterans’ issues for VA personnel and other appropriate individuals.
♦ Encourage and develop collaborative relationships with other Federal, state, and community agencies to coordinate activities on issues related to women veterans.
♦ Coordinate outreach activities that enhance women veterans’ awareness of new VA services and benefits.
♦ Promote research activities on women veterans’ issues.
OUR ACTIVITIES
♦ Regularly monitor changes VA-wide and assess the impact these changes may have on the delivery of services to homeless women with children, rural and elderly women veterans, and minority women veterans. Regularly m
♦ onitor VA briefings during Transition Assistance Program to ensure that active duty women are provided access to information on the benefits and services available to them as veterans prior to their release from active duty.
Visit our website at www.va.gov/womenvet
VA0 Nationwide Toll Free Number (800) 827-100
August 2008
♦ Foster the implementation of a “One VA” approach by facilitating joint training and networking among Women Veterans Program Managers and Women Veterans Coordinators across VA.
♦ Provide women veteran consumers the opportunity to share their concerns and issues with VA managers through town hall meetings, community forums and gatherings, and regional/national summits.
♦ Monitor VA’s research agenda to ensure that women veterans and their issues are included in all VA studies.
♦ Continue to outreach to the women veterans’ community with increased emphasis on outreach to the elderly, minority and those living in rural areas.
♦ Establish and continue relationships with state and county departments of veterans affairs.
♦ Establish and continue partnerships with national veterans service organizations to enhance and increase outreach efforts to women veterans.
♦ Establish and continue partnerships with other federal agencies responsible for providing services to women.
♦ Widely distribute the pocket guide, “Women Veterans - 25 Frequently Asked Questions.”
THE FUTURE
The Center for Women Veterans is committed to ensuring that services and benefits responsive to the needs of women veterans are maintained and, when necessary, enhanced.
NATIONAL SUMMITS
The Center for Women Veterans sponsored the first National Summit on Women Veterans Issues in 1996. Subsequent Summits were held in 2000, 2004, and 2008, with the next Summit scheduled for 2012. The purpose of these Summits was to provide veterans, veteran service providers, federal agency representatives, legislative staffers and other interested individuals a forum in which to discuss current initiatives for women veterans, identify issues of concern to the women veterans community, and share ideas on how these issues might be addressed through legislative, programmatic and outreach activities. Summit Proceedings may be viewed at www.va.gov.
LEGISLATION RELATED TO WOMEN VETERANS
♦ P.L. 98-160, “Veterans Healthcare Act of 1983,” established the Advisory Committee on Women Veterans.
♦ P.L. 102-585, “Veterans Health Care Act of 1992,” provided specific provisions for women’s health and broadened the context of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) to include care for the aftermath of sexual trauma associated with military duty.
♦ P.L. 103-446, “Veterans Improvement Act of 1994,” established the Center for Women Veterans. ♦ P.L. 106-419, “Veterans Benefits and Healthcare Improvement Act of 2000,” authorized special
monthly compensation for women veterans with a service-connected mastectomy. It also authorized benefits to children born of mothers who served in Vietnam and who have certain types of birth defects. P.L. 107-
♦ 330, “Veterans Benefits Act of 2002,” authorized special monthly compensation for women veterans who have lost twenty-five percent or more of tissue from a single breast or both breasts in combination (including loss by mastectomy or partial mastectomy) or has received radiation of breast tissue. P.L. 108
♦ extend Military Sexual Trauma (MST) counseling and treatment to active duty service members or active duty for training.
Visit our website at www.va.gov/womenvet
VA0 Nationwide Toll Free Number (800) 827-100
August 2008