How dare you! How dare you call us "Media Whore"!!! Who the hell do you think you are? What gives you the right to put that label on us? Haven't we been abused enough by our assailants? Haven't we been attacked enough by other Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coasties? I know I was.
I made a career out of the Army. I am proud to say that I am a card carrying Retiree. During my career I was called every filthy name in the book. I was told early in my career that I had no business in the Army; that I belonged "at home, barefoot and pregnant". I was told that by NCO's and Officers in my chain of command. I was called "bitch, dyke, whore". I was accused of "husband hunting" during that first tour overseas though I dated the same Soldier almost the entire time I was there (RIP SFC Anthony John Scheehl).
My virginity was TAKEN from me by my Platoon Sergeant. I was barely 18 years old. He took me to my Squad Leaders apartment, got me drunk and took me. I remember the stink of his breath on me. It smelled like vomit though I don't remember the act itself. I remember after sitting in a boiling hot tub feeling very dirty. He stuck his head in the bathroom to ask if I was okay. I was an E2 and he was an E7. It happened just that once. I think. It's the only time I recall. So far. I've just started to have flashbacks about him. If there were other incidents I'm sure there will be other flashbacks to follow.
I write about things that happened to me. I write about things that are helpful, in my opinion, to Veterans. I publish links to my blog everywhere I can think of. I ask my friends to post links to my blog. If that makes me a "Media Whore" than so be it. I've been called worse names by worse people. But here is the thing. Have the fucking guts to say it to my face. And then tell me what you are doing to further the FIGHT! Are you jealous of me? Are you jealous of the others who are out there fighting this MST CAUSE? What the fuck is your problem?
WHO THE HELL WANTS TO BE FAMOUS or INFAMOUS FOR BEING RAPED???? Do you realize how much COURAGE it takes to stand in front of the cameras and speak out about this? Can you do it? I can't. I know I can't. That's why I write about it. I have so much respect for my brothers and sisters who get out there in front of the public. I would name them personally but this blog would never end if I were to list them all. They know who they are and they have my respect and my love and loyalty.
So, yeah, if writing about Military Sexual Trauma makes me a MEDIA WHORE than I guess that's what I am. At least I'm speaking out. I'm telling my story. I try to help other victims become survivors and I am proud of that. I don't attack other advocates. I work with them and support them and I will mentor anyone who asks me to. I teach others how to file claims the Susan Avila-Smith and Jim Strickland way. I listen. I lend a shoulder. I do what is necessary. And yes, I am often very triggered by the things that I do. Most of us are. Does that stop us? FUCK NO.
People in glass houses, my friends.....
Until the next time.....
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So sorry for the pain...underneath it all, you have the courage to speak---clearly and honestly. You have my respect for your service and for who you are...Thank you! Les Ryan US Army Vietnam 69-70.
ReplyDeleteI try to do my part. Thank you for your service as well.
ReplyDeleteAMEN, AMEN, and another AMEN! Thank you my sister. Rick and
ReplyDeleteMilitary Millie; MST Survivor
Words can not describe how thankful I am with your blog. You voicing your opinion and putting folks who call us all media whores in there place. YOU GO WENDI! I love you my vet sister. Survivors we are, a Band Of Sisters we are :) Love you
ReplyDeleteI applaud you!! AMEN sister. I have always wanted to tell people how I really feel and that was just beautiful. Loved it! MST Survivor Bobbie Weisgerber
ReplyDeleteAs a highly decorated Vietnam veteran, a retired police officer after 28 years, and with a son who's served in our current Mid-East war, and working with 3 bonified MST organizations, also personally talking with 8 senators/representatives in Congress, putting my money where my mouth is, 42 emails, 52 phone calls, 18 letters - all to raise awareness...and not once did I rant with the "f**k" language. Your voice, your message, your good intentions, your right to be 100 x ANGRY. But you totally lost me from the start...Your anger, in words, went far too much to a negative point...Respect others in speaking your anger more sensibly, where EVERYONE would have your back. Not all this profanity...I intended to reveal your well-intended awareness by speaking on a live evening news television broadcast. That's in the toilet now...ALL men, whether military or civilian, are NOT demons. Why treat them ALL as you did ? Your words were so mean-spirited. Most of us don't deserve that....I wish you the best....jt.
ReplyDeletewhew....i knew that wouldnt be easy to read....but thank you. i am glad you do what you do for us....
ReplyDeleteI am another MST survivor who thanks you with all her heart for being such an inspiration to so many of us! Knowing you has been a huge Blessing. I can relate to every word exactly as written. THANK YOU!!!
ReplyDelete@ Mr. Talley-
You seem to have missed both the point of a BLOG and this post. Its NOT about you or any-fucking-one else EXCEPT the survivor. The WORST thing you can tell one of us survivors is what to do or how to express ourselves on our OWN blogs. We write for ourselves and other survivors. So FUCK YOU!!! You think we care one bit about what you think of can 'do' for us if we fucking do what you want??? That WOULD make us media whores then. I spent four years being beaten and raped by asshats I HAD to obey or die. I don't swear if I can help it but by God your arrogance flipped all my triggers!!! How dare you try to dictate how this brave warrior sister expresses herself??!! You read about a young girl who's destroyed by a bastard and you point out her ANGER and language? Fuck you again!!! Take you judgemental ass and don't darken our door unless you can FEEL her rightious rage with your heart. Don't you know that with extreme damage comes extreme rage?? Pray tell WHERE you think she SHOULD express her rage if not on her private blog????? You are her guest here. Be polite and act like it. Else....well you can guess!
@ Mr. Talley-
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have missed both the point of a BLOG and this post. Its NOT about you or any-fucking-one else EXCEPT the survivor. The WORST thing you can tell one of us survivors is what to do or how to express ourselves on our OWN blogs. We write for ourselves and other survivors. So FUCK YOU!!! You think we care one bit about what you think of can 'do' for us if we fucking do what you want??? That WOULD make us media whores then. I spent four years being beaten and raped by asshats I HAD to obey or die. I don't swear if I can help it but by God your arrogance flipped all my triggers!!! How dare you try to dictate how this brave warrior sister expresses herself??!! You read about a young girl who's destroyed by a bastard and you point out her ANGER and language? Fuck you again!!! Take you judgemental ass and don't darken our door unless you can FEEL her rightious rage with your heart. Don't you know that with extreme damage comes extreme rage?? Pray tell WHERE you think she SHOULD express her rage if not on her private blog????? You are her guest here. Be polite and act like it. Else....well you can guess!
The pretentious jerk has spoken...but to what? You've used this forum to establish your "credentials" but to what end? You sound like a pompous ass to offer to "help" but not with the language? You haven't heard what Wendi has spoken to so painfully and forcefully. Insulting. Sounds like you're offering help on your terms...not the reality of her life and experiences. What a shit you are. Look in the mirror; then shut up. Les Ryan US Army Vietnam 69-70
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for sharing your story and being such a powerful voice for us survivors! You are absolutely right! No one wants to be "famous" for being raped - everytime we tell our story we relive the nightmare! I find it funny - Angelina Jolie has her breast removed due to a possibility of cancer and she is called Brave and Courageous. We are trying to stop 26,000 rapes and sexual assaults a year - and we are called Media Whores and just in it for the money.
ReplyDeleteKeep on being brave and fighting the good fight! I would love to share your blog on my blog if you don't mind. We can be found at www.enemyinthewire.wordpress.com
Blessings!
Joan